I am not sure you are always afforded the luxury of going back and rewriting a narrative, a perspective or a part of your own story. Time moves on, people move on, even you move on, therefore going back is sometimes unnecessary, unimportant, no longer something that you feel you need to do. And so I am extremely grateful I have recently had the opportunity to rewrite a relatively recent ending in a city that is extremely close to my heart.
This city is New York City – and we have been in a relationship for almost 14 years. It has been filled with love declarations on my part, dreams and promises on his, tearful separations and long periods of silence, enthusiastic and unbelievable reconciliations and whirlwind city tours. “Fuck you, I have seen it all-s” on my side and “you have not seen anything yet-s” as well as “I will blow your mind-s” on his.
Yes, he is right.
“Go to New York”, she said, “run the marathon. It will do whatever it is meant to do for you. And then you will see – “
It was not necessarily about running the marathon, although the sheer physicality of the race is no mean feat. It was, thanks to the wonderful gift of hindsight, an opportunity to make a decision about my actions in that city, to decide how far I wanted to go, how far I wanted to “take it” and “what success looked like”. To reframe a relationship with a place where I am so happy, my heart bursts, and write a better, stronger story for my own benefit and sanity.
And so New York is not a place where I once fell so hard I felt I broke my neck.
It is a home, a land of dreams and wonder, a paradise of creativity, a promising partner and one of the greatest loves of my life.
I do not love easily.
We are actors in our own story. For this reason, it is always worth taking the opportunity and the time to rewrite it.
To be continued –